He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
