Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
