I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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