Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You did what with his pubic hair?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
