If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
