i don't like sucking hair
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
