Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
