hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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