Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize