never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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