Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
