your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
