I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
