Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
