I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
