Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
