take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
