hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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