Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
