I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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