You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
