I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
