i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
