Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
