i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Randomize
