you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
