I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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