I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
