Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
