Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
