I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She announced her abortion via fbk
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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