people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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