Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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