You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
