You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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