Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I want to fling myself into the sun
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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