Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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