Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
