I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
