You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
