I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
