He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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