38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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