i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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