i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
