i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
