i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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