in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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