your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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