the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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