he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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