Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
