i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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