So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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