Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
