he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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