What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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