woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
