i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
