dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
