He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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