you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
