Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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