butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
