we have officially lost it.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
