I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
