I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
